Dog Days of Summer

Shh…they’re sleeping. I know this because Daddy’s snoring and Mommy keeps mumbling, “Oh, hush, honey, for the love of GOD!” in her sleep. My sister Kookai is on the corner of the bed cleaning herself. She does that a lot.

So anyway, I figured now would be a safe time to check out this blog thing Mommy keeps saying is so much fun. I also heard that she's been telling stories about our escapades lately, but who better to tell you what we’ve really been up than us pets?

Leaving presents in the basement. I know where I'm supposed to go to the bathroom, but my aunt Lucy, the wiener dog, told me that our parents like it when we leave them presents on the carpet every once in a while. So when she comes over to visit she shows me where to go so I can do it too sometimes. Lucy’s really bossy but she knows a lot of cool things, like how to steal food and hide it for later. Plus, she’s kind of scary, so I usually do what she says. The weird thing is, I don't think my parents have noticed my presents yet. Every time I leave them one, they start yelling about something so I figure they're just distracted when they go down there. I will probably just keep at it until they notice my good work.

Bunny hunting. Do you people even realize what prime bunny hunting time it is right now?! They’re everywhere, just everywhere! Hiding in the grass. Peeking out from the bushes. And they taunt me non-stop. When we go for walks, all I hear is their squeaky little bunny voices singsonging, “You can’t catch us, slow poke…nah nah nah nah nah!” Mommy and Daddy don't appreciate my obsession with the bunnies. Though, I don't think they're happy about it because they get all loud and there’s usually some tugging on my harness, but it’s really a bit of a blur, because with all the smack those furry little devils are throwing down, I can't help but focus on the bunnies, bunnies, bunnies…

Sneaking out. Well, Kooks has been doing this a lot. She’s mastered the art of streaking past Daddy when he lets me out. For such a fat cat, she’s pretty quick. She tells me she’s been having a blast partying all night with the neighborhood cats. Personally, I think she’s getting kind of a “reputation.” I also know she takes particular pleasure in waking up Mommy and Daddy at 4 a.m. by positioning herself under their bedroom window and meowing incessantly until they let her in. I have to hand it to her, she’s gotten really good at this. She doesn’t even take a breath in between meows, and if they ignore her, she just follows them to whichever room they go to and meows under that window. She says that after a long night out on the town, she’s hungry and thirsty and the only reason our parents are here anyway is to feed her, water her and basically cater to her every whim. She also says I'm stupid for trying to please them all the time. Well, all I know is that Mommy is not happy about the crack-of-dawn wake up calls and keeps threatening to take Kooks to this place called a “farm” so she can "make herself useful instead of gallivanting around with all the neighborhood Toms." I don’t know what that means, exactly, but I bet Kooks would have fun with the barn cats.


And speaking of farms, Daddy keeps telling me he’s going to send me to a special place called the “Burrito Farm.” Usually this follows one of his fits of bellowing. Something about there being more crap in the basement (I think this is what keeps distracting him from finding my presents). But I bet a Burrito Farm would be fun. I wonder if they have bunnies there. That sure would be great.

Swimming. I just love to swim at the doggy beach. Last week as I was running around in circles showing off my fetching skills, this lady I passed told my Mommy that she didn’t like dogs. Mommy made me get away from her but I heard her say, “What kind of person doesn’t like dogs?” Well, I figured I could win the lady over, so I made sure to run past her again and show her how awesome my orange fetch toy is. I mean, it’s really cool and I swam really far out to get it. But the lady didn’t seem to like that either, and then Mommy yelled at me and put me back on my leash and I couldn’t even swim out to the deep end anymore. It was kind of a bummer. But I hope we get to go back soon and maybe the mean lady won’t be there.

Camp. Mommy and Daddy went away for a weekend and I got to go to Lab Camp. My doggy mommy Sadie, my brother Norm, sister Lulu and niece Callie all live there and it’s super fun. We play a lot and there are a TON of good bones for me to chew. Callie is kind of a spazz, but the rest of us usually just gang up on her and try to steal her toys. She seems to like it, though, so I guess everybody wins. And Mama Lee Ann spoils me a lot. But don’t tell Mommy because she always says I come back from camp five pounds fatter. What’s wrong with that?

Ice cream! Forget about bacon; ice cream is where it’s at. Last night Mommy and Daddy took me for a walk to the ice cream place. A walk AND ice cream! Life sure was good, even if I didn’t catch any bunnies. I got my very own cone, and you can bet I didn’t take my time scarfing down that yummy goodness. I don’t know why Mommy and Daddy take so long to eat theirs when it’s really easy to get it all down in one chomp. You’d think they’d know better, because they eat kind of a lot of ice cream.

So that’s the real scoop. Kooks and I have been enjoying the summer and we hope we get to do some more fun stuff.

Oh, and that hoopla about the skunk? Frankly, I was a little surprised at all the fuss Mommy made about that. I mean, when I found that patch of strong smell in our backyard, I thought to myself, Hooray! Mommy and Daddy sure would be proud if I could cover myself in this stuff. So I gave it a good roll, making sure to really root around in it. And what did they do? They completely freaked out and then washed it right off. Huh. But I got to play in the water in the front yard, which was pretty fun.

Well, bye for now. I asked Kooks if she wanted to contribute anything but she told me to leave her alone because she's napping. A late night and all that. Typical.

Lots of licks,

Rudy